Cue The Cheesy Training Montage
by Merrywetherweather
Summary: Does not actually include cheesy training montage. I am just not that amazing at naming my stories. A Davekat oneshot in which Karkat tries to strengthen himself so he can surpass Dave. Please excuse any sudden tense changes. This was written somewhere around midnight. It may need editing.


Karkat puffed out his chest a bit. His reflection still seemed as scrawny and weak as he felt. Earlier he had lost to Strider in another strife. Dave had quickly brandished his shitty katana and dislodged Karkat's twin sickles, leaving him defenseless.

Then he had violently thrust Karkat up against a wall, his sword an uncomfortably short distance from the young troll's neck. Karkat recalled how he leaned in to whisper a condescending, "All talk and no walk," before nicking his throat a bit as he pulled away to stroll off in a manner most befitting of a "coolkid".

"fucker...," Karkat muttered under his breath. He would get stronger. He would grow eventually. Who cares if he only came up to Dave's chest, nubby horns and all? He could still practice every day until he was able to defeat Strider.

Karkat took out his sickles and got to work.

A week went by and Karkat had barely left his room. Dave paced around the city of Can town, which was under siege at the moment by one of Terezi's scalemates.

"Daaaave, come play with me," Terezi's crackly voice awoke him from his restless pondering.

He hastily made his way to sit beside her and picked up an aluminum can.

"Run tiny denizens! Run from your new god!" Terezi knocked over the Can town library, which humorously enough was made out of several books.

"Aah. Run. It's Godzilla," Dave feigned excitement, which is hard to do when you're trying to be cool and stoic anyway. So really the gesture shouldn't even have mattered.

But Terezi's expert eyes err… nose? Yeah nose. Saw and or smelled through his false nonchalance, "Dave Strider, if you are not going to take play time seriously then I think I'd rather have the Mayor freaking out on me for causing public disturbances."

Dave took a minute to appreciate how ironic the phrase "taking play time seriously" was before replying, "I just have some things on my mind… Where is the Mayor anyway?"

Terezi cackled in that creepy, I've-seen- you- naked kind of way… but she hasn't since she's blind, which is what makes it so fucking creepy, "I sent him on a mission. We needed more recruits for the army, so he's gone off somewhere to guzzle a bunch of soda."

"I have a feeling the lack of soldiers has something to do with your stuffed dragons rampaging around," Poor Mr. Mayor. Gone off to drink away his sorrows like it's nobody's business. Nobody can't even grasp the startling amount of how much the situation did not concern him.

"Dave, stop being such a nook sniffer. I think you're cranky and hungry. Go eat before you make me catch angst. That is a disease that I very much do not want."

Dave sighs deeply then sweeps out of the room, cape moving theatrically behind him. He hears Terezi giggle at his dramatized exit.

Karkat panted heavily as he swung his arms again and again. His movements were careful and repetitive as he tried to master his sickles. The pattern he made with his limbs was one of the simpler forms of fighting, but if he wanted perfection he had to start with the basics again. He had taken note of how his endurance would often fail him during a strife and how whenever his pace slowed, Dave would increase his accordingly. Then he would overcome Karkat in that momentary lapse of energy.

Karkat started to perspire. He took off his shirt and continued to attack his imaginary foe.

Dave hurried down the hall to Vantas' room. He had holed himself up for too long. How was he supposed to instigate a strife when Karkat was sinking into seclusion?

Dave threw open Karkat's door in the most obnoxious way he could. He was going to get his attention. But suddenly, and in the most beautifully ironic way_, Dave's_ attention was caught by the fatigued troll before him. His skin gave off a pale reddish, iridescent glow. It was dazzling in a way that Dave's shades couldn't even filter.

He eyed Karkat's exposed torso approvingly. Karkat jumped at the sudden intrusion.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

His slightly less than fingernails-on-chalkboard screech woke Dave from his not so subtle ogling, "Came to see if you were still alive," Dave said this in a way that might imply he was of the same mindset as one the guys who had played the _Chateau d_'If watchmen in the movie "The Count of Monte Cristo". Karkat expected that if Dave had found him dead he would have tossed him inside a body bag and thrown him off the asteroid without even giving much thought. It was in this way Dave had successfully hidden his true feelings and unintentionally triggered Karkat's wrath.

"I HAVE BEEN PRACTICING ALL WEEK FOR A CHANCE TO KICK YOUR ASS!" Karkat launched himself at Dave, sickles drawn.

Dave pulled his shitty sword out of his strife specibus to block the onslaught of pissed, troll munchkin fury. He had managed to deter one of the sickles but Karkat, performing the pattern he had been practicing all week, brought his second weapon up instead of down, just barely grazing Dave's cheek.

Karkat leapt back as a small droplet of blood trickled down Dave's face. Dave rubbed at the burning liquid with his thumb and brought his reddened digit to his mouth. He licked it, "Someone's been studying. Shall we have a test then? If you lose I'm giving you red marks," he said holding out his blemished hand.

Karkat braced himself and growled, "COME AT ME FUCKASS."

Dave moved in flashes, a technique he had acquired through the strifes he had held with his bro. The sudden change in speed overwhelmed Karkat and he began to slash recklessly at any blurs his eyes could catch onto. His blows were always a few seconds too late.

All at once Karkat detected a movement of color from above. Dave came down on him with full force, pushing Karkat onto the floor, his sword imbedded in the carpet and in close proximity to Karkat's neck.

Karkat was finding it difficult to control his breathing with Strider hovering over his body like that. Dave reached out a hand.

Karkat flinched, "W-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-!"

"'F' minus," Dave drew out the ugly letter on the troll's stomach with his thumb.

Karkat flushed at the sudden intimate contact, "S-STOP THAT!"

Dave grinned wolfishly, "Why? Are you sensitive?" Dave's hand grazed over Karkat's hips lightly, teasing the nerves on his skin.

"I'M-I'M SERIOUS! DON'T- Ah!" Karkat squeaked as Strider's hand moved to his back and slid up to a spot in between his shoulder blades.

"That was an interesting noise."

"Shut… up…," Karkat's voice softened and was cut off in between words by his shortness of breath.

"Make me," Dave pestered in the most ridiculously immature way possible.

So Karkat did make him. Two could play at that game! Karkat reached forward and grabbed the back of Dave's neck, forcefully pulling him down into a kiss. Dave's blood could still be tasted on his tongue, but it was okay since Karkat imagined he still tasted pretty salty from his earlier practice session. The combination of blood and sweat melted into an interesting flavor that lingered on both of their lips as they pulled apart.

Dave held his hand over his mouth trying to hide a smile while Karkat mistook the gesture as one of disgust. He purred triumphantly, "What's wrong, Dave? Can't handle a taste of your own medicine?"

Dave removed his hand and flashed Karkat a seductive, lopsided grin. The crooked feature seemed so out of place on Dave's usually emotionless face, "I don't know about medicine, but I'd like to get further acquainted with whatever kind of taste that was."

Dave proceeded to indulge in another kiss, lightly grazing Karkat's lips with tender nibbles and nips. Rather than pull away, Karkat found the feeling appealing and followed suit, even becoming brave enough to move his mouth to Dave's pale neck. He sucked and licked at a chosen area delicately, gracing the spot with a kiss-mark.

"You like giving hickeys?" Dave inquired teasingly.

"I like people knowing what's mine," Karkat flushed red.

"Well in that case, mark me all you want. I can take it."

"Really?" Karkat asked challengingly as he slid his nails down Strider's back.

Dave hissed in pleasure as dark red lines began to form. Turned on, he began to use his mouth on Karkat's ear, biting and gnawing until the troll begged for release. It seemed his bone bulge had been quite active while Dave had been playing around with every erotic spot he could reach.

"Dave… Strider… I need… A bucket," Karkat gasped.

"I don't think so. I don't really have a fetish for those things. But I respect your sexual interests so it's cool."

"F-FUCK YOU! YOU KNOW GODDAMN WELL IT ISN'T A FETISH! I NEED IT TO-Ah!"

Dave reached into Karkat's pants and stoked the tentacle-like member slowly, "I know. I'm just messing with you. I didn't come unprepared," Dave pulled out a pail from his hashmap fetch modus and set it down beside the troll, "Baby, I always carry protection."

"I don't understand what the fuck that means, but it pisses me off."

Dave quickened his strokes and the bone bulge stiffened a bit.

"I'm going to release! I-!" Karkat came into the bucket that Dave held with his unoccupied hand. The two were left breathing heavily, panting in the aftermath of their passionate sexual actions.

"We're still going to have strifes with this kind of relationship, right?" Karkat asked, not ready to lose his sparring partner just yet.

Dave chuckled darkly, "Sweatheart, that was just round one."


End file.
